of purpose and pavement

Asphalt is amazing!
They have just begun the process of paving the road outside our house, the beginning of the long process of paving all the roads in Antonio Jose de Sucre - an incredible undertaking! It is such a blessing for the community, much less horrible dust in the air and the escape from the mud that overtakes the rainy season will save so many from sickness. With the awareness of how wonderful a thing this is, however, it´s been a lot to handle - huge house size (US house size that is, about 3x the size of an ecuadorian home) mounds of dirt on every block corner, roads closed down to water trucks--a HUGE issue for all our neighbors-- and trucks and construction drowning out daily conversations in the house. Its a huge inconvenience for the time being, but such an amazing accomplishment for the long run. Mind you, it will probably be months before the entire project is done, maybe even a year to finish AJS.

The reality that my neighborhood is being paved has brought to light my recent struggle for usefulness and purpose. There is no doubt that there is need here. Way too many families go without water for days, have little or no education, and live in shacks that will soon be flooded mudpits in the winter to warrent any sort of dismissal. The problem I have been having recently though is why are we here? Why AJS? When Rostro first moved in it was definitely one of the worst areas, but now it seems to be one of the most developed (relatively, of course). Some of the neighborhoods that we work in are just so much farther behind - where every single house is made of cane, school buildings are literally no more then fenced in tiny areas with benches crammed in, and children live among cows grazing in garbage - as is the case in 28 de Agosto, a community built on an old dump site, where one of our after school programs is. In the face of such disparity, I can´t ignore the guilt I feel walking out of my gate and seeing the majority of my neighbors in at least partially concrete houses, with fairly well established public schools (again, this is all in perspective--compared to the US system each school here is a educational crisis). I look at the after school program I run, and while I would never take it away from the 15-20 kids that come daily and that consider it a huge part of their lives, I wonder about its usefulness- yes, we take advantage of the time we have with the kids and really try to make it engaging and educational at the same time, but sometimes I just feel there are other places that could better use us. It´s just a struggle I´ve been having lately....and i know that all I can do is take advantage of the kids I am in contact with and make as much of an impact on them as I can, for each child deserves so much more than I can give. I wonder how much longer Rostro will be in this house, in AJS, but recognize that as long as it is Valdivia will keep going strong. I wonder though where we will go next--if in a couple years we will move out to 28 de Agosto and answer another call.

In all of this, it is really just my obsession with analyzing how programs like ours work and how we put our mission into action that lead me to these questions. Part of what I love about being down here is that it gives me a chance to see first hand the kind of work that foundations like ours do, what the needs of the community are, and how a foundation or international program may intercede to help reach those goals--but also where we can step aside to national organizations to take the reigns. It´s a huge learning process, but with both Rostro and Padre Damien, I´m enjoying the opportunity to take in as much as I can. I guess I´ve always been drawn to these types of organizations and maybe going into the administration of one someday, so again, just another unexpected opportunity thrown at me down here.

So in other random news....

I am officially the last member of my house to contract a Parasite! Well, let me amend that, I am the last one to visit the doctor and receive a diagnosis that I have a parasite - I may already have one and just not know it yet, but I´ll take what I can get. I´ve been remarkably healthy so far (knock on wood)..... take that ecuador!

I built a cane fence last saturday. It was kick ass. It was supposed to be a quiet saturday, i was in need of some good reflection and personal time, but then went outside to run to the store and ended up helping my neighbor Walter all afternoon building a fence. Imagine me with a machete chopping up large pieces of cane- it was SO much fun. And i just love those random run ins. Like last night, we helped another neighbor ¨"steal" dirt from the massive mounds left by the paving process. Turns out a truckfull of dirt is about $25, about what anm average person makes in a little under a week--so massive mounds that will soon just be hauled away are quite a commodity. The entire neighborhood was out well into the night. It was actually a really cool bonding time.

We have mice. Well, HAD them hopefully. Finally found the dead one in the corner of the kitchen that had almost entirely decomposed. And to think we just kept wondering why the kitchen smelled so horribly for so long...i don´t even want to know how long it was there....it could have been the same one that sent Vicki running into my room about 2 weeks ago in the middle of the night. We had a sleepover for a couple days, didn´t hear more of the mouse, and kind of hoped it got out. Guess not.

I am painting a mural! yeah, i know, what am i thinking, but i am really excited about it! The walls at Padre Damien are pretty much all covered by different murals and drawings left by volunteer groups or patients, and Sr. Annie wants me to do another wall that could really use some excitement. Here goes nothing...

I guess that is it for now--not it in terms of stories, just too many to pick from. Long story short, I am good. healthy, happy, pensive, and busy. Life - you know.